Uploaded 24/05/2016 15:20
You know, I'm usually in Nintendo's corner during a console war, but they really stepped in it with the 3DS. The 3D feature doesn't add much to the gaming experience beyond a purely cosmetic illusion of depth and a massive headache thirty minutes later. Furthermore, Nintendo's stubborn refusal to adapt to current industry trends left the 3DS without a download store for two months. This is not an optional feature. It's the future of game distribution, and if you can't come to terms with this maybe you'd better go back to selling playing cards and super-extending Go Go Gadget hands.

Before anyone asks... this is Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, a VIC-20 game designer who succeeded Hiroshi Yamauchi once everyone in the company realized Yamauchi was too cranky and senile to call the shots. Yes Grandpa, RPGs are for lonely nerds who spend their lives playing video games in their basements. Now shuffle off to the nursing home... we promise we'll visit you regularly. Okay, maybe we'll just send you occasional care packages of Ben-Gay and Werther's Originals.

(Edited for clarity's sake. Yes, I meant Yamauchi. Now hush uppa your mouth.)
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