"You know, asking questions like this is why people get hurt in the first place. Don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt ya. That's what those psychos down at the hospital or government building will do. I'm Alex by the way." Alex takes a bite of the sandwich he stole. "No I'm a good dog. I pay my taxes. I work my forty hour job every week. Hell, I even did community service there for a while." Bite. "But you know what they say, nothing lasts forever."
"I think it was..." Bite. "Seven years ago?" He spits some of the food out while saying that. "Eh time got a little finicky to me. For all I know, it could have been a few weeks ago. I stopped caring after my first run in with the corp. Never heard of the corp? Good. Keep it that way. It's why I got this fucking tail. I mean it's handy and makes a great belt in a pinch but... That's not all they do to you down there." He threw the sandwich away. "If you think an office job is hell, honey let me tell you, you haven't seen shit. The things they do to you while you're in the hole break your mind. Makes everything a wee bit... interesting."
"For example, ever been at a funeral before? They say its so people can pay their final respects and come to terms with the death and hopefully move on. I went to one before the corp got their paws on me. It was one of the saddest days of my life. Brother died of overdose. Went into the night riding a one way ticket to paradise. Never would have guessed when you saw the body. I balled my eyes out for days wondering why my brother was gone." Alex started playing with the paperweight on the desk. "Now, every funeral I go to is always the same. 'Such a good person', 'Wouldn't hurt nobody', 'It was meant to be'. Bullshit I tell you. Every one. No one dies innocent. No one lives without devils on their shoulders. It sure as hell wasn't meant to be. Something put them there. And I feel nothing for it. Didn't even cry at my grandfather's funeral. Drank every day for almost 30 odd years, of course you're going to die of something liver related."
"The point is..." Alex stops playing with the paperweight and bestows a serious face. "Nothing in this world is just beautiful. Life, Death, Nature, The hot girl in room 103 in my apartment building. No, everything is jagged. Everything is skewed in a way that makes it appealing. We got to make the days worth it because we never know when some mysterious organization is going to rip us from our lives, cut us up and make us into monsters for their own bidding to do horrendous things to those that we love, that we know, that we may have never even met and to finally wake up after an explosion in the holding cell and realize that everything you have done for the last 6 years comes crashing into you at once and you're just so fucking angry that the very breathing of the guards sent to contain you sends you into a fury so deep that even the abyss has a hard time starring back at you." He looks at the man across the table. "And then for the next year you hold down a job, convince everyone you know that you're just some weirdo who went to school for a few years, is now back to resume his life with his close friend and his girlfriend who you pay half the rent with to live with and try and make something out of the last few things you have left and the past upon which you can never forget. Any questions?"
The Deer across the table looks horrified at Alex. "Uhhh sir I just asked if there was anything else we could help you with here at the DMV..."
Alex stares at the Deer blankly before smiling wide. "Nope. Nothing at all. I just was a bit flustered with the 3 hour wait and kind of lost myself there for a moment." Alex grabs his new license off the desk. "Have a good day sir and I shall look for you the next time I'm here. You make me feel so wanted here."
The deer eyes shoot open. "Please don't ever come back here." He hastily chokes out.
Alex walks to the door and turns around before exiting, shooting an evil grin before making his way out.
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Weimaraner, Green eyes, 6'2", Grey fur, Green eyes, Rat tail.
Slightly moody attitude till you give him a reason to actually get to know someone.
May or may not have been the one to loosen the salt shaker bottle.
Will add more as time goes on.
Open to role-playing
Whatever allows a slightly psychotic individual.
Preferably paragraph RP. I like the formats better.