Thursday. I realized something.
I want to live, yes, I do.
But, for possibly all of the wrong reasons.
I want to run through streets at midnight with someone important, wielding spikes and bad intentions.
I want to swim in the middle of fall with nothing but mischief as a covering.
I want to dash through snow in pajamas.
I want to vanish to an island with only a few people.
I want to have the worse fight of my life and end it with the best "this stays behind closed doors" mess sort of spur of the moment spontaneous teenage moronic behavior.
I want to drag someone to skinny dip in the middle of nowhere and have the adrenaline to continue with the foolishness.
I want to mutter my loneliness into someone's chest at 5 AM every morning before an inevitable "I'll see you again soon."
I want to feel the burn of smoke stinging my lungs, like I'm all too used to from crowds.
I want to show someone the worst songs I know, for us to drown them out with stupid stories from our childhoods and just be the misanthropes that we are.
I want to binge on good vibes and skip food for a week.
I want to jump over barbed wire, simply for the hell of it.
I want to get lost in eyes.
I want to let dangerous creatures crawl over me, feel the bite of a snake, the cold of a lizard's feet.
I want to beat the living crap out of anyone if they hurt any of my partners.
I want to wear eye shadow made of marks of "I haven't slept."
I want my hazel eyes to scream their true colors.
I want to dye my hair insane colors.
I want to open my head and show the depths of how dark and disturbing I am to someone who cares.
I want to get a matching tattoo with some fool, and scratch it into something better when they abandon me.
I want to forget everything for a few days.
I want to ditch responsibilities.
I want to sleep until noon, and stay up until 6 AM.
I want to run over cars in the moment of being the twat that I am.
I want to bottle my anger up and serve it as cheerfulness, despite wanting to be as hateful as possible.
I want to wear a bell and insist that it's not a warning of my nature.
I want to file my teeth and scare boys.
I want to destroy my nails and torment girls.
I want to jump off of cliffs into the safety of deep, soft currents.
I want to dance around a fire and collapse into the worst asthma attack of my life, drag myself to a hospital, and laugh my ass off about it the next morning.
I want to kiss the scars of the lost.
I want to pull a partner out of the middle of an argument and remind them why they stick around.
I want to forget everything and find a new meaning to it all.
I want to know the things like normal people do.
Time taken: Roughly six hours, not counting sketch
Tools Used: Paint Tool SAI and a USB Mouse
Art, Flare, and the FELINE scribbley species (c) @MadMadameFlare