Uploaded 25/01/2016 23:28


Does something ever hurt so badly that you just want to tear it out?

I've been having stabbing pains every time I move, in my right side again.
I know what it means, and I'm fine.

It's just...
It hurts, okay?
Like... A LOT.

Just imagine some one using two thick and long knives..
With the first they press it into the flesh closest to your hip, taking no mercy against the burning.
With the other, they slowly and gently slash from your navel to your hip, slowly digging down to your nests, causing pain to echo out more.

Now, imagine both of those knives are heating....
Boiling hot...
Hot enough to make your eyes water, hot to the touch.

I feel sick from it sometimes..
I've spent days vomiting from sheer pain, even after taking my nausea medicine.
it's just...

And people keep saying things to me me in classes, walking home, buying things,
"Are you alright?"
"How badly does it hurt?"
"Do you need to go to the nurse?"
"...Damn... You look awful... Is everything alright?"
"You're holding your side a lot... did they go through with the surgery?"
"Your breathing is sharp, I can see pain in your eyes.. Why does the school have to be harsh on you?"
"God, can't you do ANYTHING? I'll move the box. Get the fuck out of my way."
"Haha, YOU'RE in pain? I'm in worse!" (I can't get out of bed sometimes, bitch. I have to CRAWL out when it hurts...)
"You know others suffer more, right?"
"Like... okay... imagine how much pain you're in now, and that's how it felt when I ______."
"Good GOD, you're bloated! Oh, oh... Don't tell me.. You're not pregnant, right?! Wait... Can I poke/touch your belly?" (I WILL HURT YOU. NO.)

It's just a lot of chaos to me.

And I know that getting the problem organ removed will cause me more issues, but... Sometimes I just think that it might the best option.
I just kind of detest everything with it.

The sugar cravings, the pain, the heat (I produce a LOT of heat when I'm in pain), the nausea, the shaking, the weakness, the bloating, the chest swelling/soreness, the dizziness.. I just... How's this an okay way to live?
How is it okay for me not have a right to be upset?
It's hard, very hard.

I mean, great scott... PCOS is basically... Just... Ahh...

I have nothing else to say...

Art info:

Time taken: Around four hours
Tools used: Paint Tool SAI and a USB Mouse

Chryssa and art (c) MadMadameFlare

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  • Uploaded: 25/01/2016 23:28
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