I haven't eaten in several days. Nothing outside of a few chips and sodas. Whenever someone goes out of their way to make or buy me food I just smile and take a few small bites before throwing it all away the moment they're not looking. Eating makes me feel sick. I know it's not healthy. I know it's impairing my energy and thinking. I know it's why I'm so exhausted right now that It's taking all my strength just to stand up or move my arms. But I don't care. We've been through this already. Those of you who've seen my The M Series HERE know that I don't care about myself enough to take even the most basic care of myself. Even though it's why I'm always tired and doing badly in school and why I can't remember anything. Though I still start and end every day with a few shots of vodka. I can't stop drinking. And at this point, I don't want to stop. Even though alcoholism runs in my family. Even though it might kill me. Is this my endgame?
I don't know....I just don't know.....
I'll see you later. Right now I just need to rest.
I'm too tired to even draw right now. I'll just have another drink.
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